I’ll tell you how it started. John downstairs said he’d help Beryl with our bit of trouble. She was in the family way again, see, and we couldn’t afford another one, not on my pay. He knew how to get rid of it. He was good at stuff like that.
It all went wrong. I come home from work and he says there’s nothing he could do. She was a gonner. He just come out and said it, calm as you like.
Well, I panicked. I didn’t have no idea what to do. John said he’d sort it. Said he knew a couple could look after little Gerry. Told me to clear off back to Wales for a bit. So I did.
I couldn’t settle though, not even with the drink inside me. I kept thinking about Beryl lying wherever he’d put her.
We’d had our rows, of course. You should have heard the neighbours moan! Some of the things she said, I could have killed her. That’s a figure o’ speech, like. But I couldn’t bear to think of her out there, all cold and on her own.
So, I went down the police station. I ain’t good with words. You probably noticed. I didn’t know how to tell it, and it come out all wrong. They locked me up.
They kept saying I’d done her in. I was starting to believe it myself, being dog-tired and all.
Then they told me it was me what done little Gerry. I didn’t even know she was dead ‘til they said. I cried, then, I can tell you. That little baby! The fight sort of went out of me. I signed whatever they wanted.
That Court was a weird place. All them funny clothes and long words, and them twelve people just staring and staring at me. They soon made their minds up, an’ all.
They been alright to me, in here. I can’t complain. People ain’t spoke to me so nice since I was a kid, and it didn’t happen too much even then. The two lads keep chatting to me. Trying to take me mind off it, I suppose.
They were a bit rough just now, mind. Seemed to be in a terrible rush to get me in here and strap me ankles together.
I didn’t like it when Albert put that whatever-it-was over me head, neither. Now I can’t see nothing. And this thing round me neck is really uncomfortable.